You see, here is the problem.  I love coffee, well, I love sugar and cream and I usually will put some coffee in there with it.  (I am not yet a full man and able to drink it straight black, like Dan.)  The only problem is that I only LOVE coffee during the winter time.  For some reason it is not appealing when I am not cold.  So I have not drank delicious coffee in several months.  Anyway, I was working in my office and I was feeling a bit chilled so I thought, “I will go make me some wonderful coffee, it has been summer time and I have not had that wonderful stuff in a few months.”  So, I went up stairs and made me some.  I came back down stairs with my nice HOT coffee and before I had even taken a sip (for it was too hot) I start hearing this sort of clicking noise.  It was not a big deal for me because I have a small Chihuahua dog name Audrey Hepburn, and I only assumed it was her running around upstairs like she so often does.  Well, then I heard it some more and I just happened to look down and catch eyes with my faithful companion lying by my feet.
“Well, if she is lying by my feet then what could it be that I hear…rapping…rapping at my chamber door.”  ”Tis some visitor,” I muttered, tapping at my chamber door………….Anyway………….NO!!!!…………..it was a huge spider!!!  
Now, I normally don’t care about spiders……the deal is, around this house, I take care of the spiders and April takes care of the flying/stinging things, (bee’s, wasps etc) But this “thing of evil” is huge.  I swear the picture doesn’t show it justice.  So anyway….I place a big cup over the spider and wedge this Marilyn Monroe calendar I have between it and the wall.  Then, I shimmy it down into the cup and keep the calendar over him so he can’t escaped…..and all is well……right?  Well, it would have been but then, as I was taking it out of my office, I got upstairs and dropped the cup, the calendar and the spider on my bare feet.  So, I kind of freaked.  I kind of acted like a little girl for just a sec.  (No offense girls) Anyway, I got it back into the cup after scurrying around for a while and then I put it into the freezer to freeze to death.  
So anyway….after all that stupid stuff, I am sweating and my adrenaline is all crazy and now………..I am way too hot to drink my coffee.  FAIL BLOG!